10 of the hardest things about becoming a mum (2024)

When we asked our mums to tell us the hardest thing about being a mum they really opened up: it's not all a bed of roses - there a some really tough things to deal with.

Here's what you told us you found most difficult about the experience...

1. Lack of sleep

It's really no surprise a number of you put this as one of the toughest bits of being a mum; no one feels good when they're getting half the zzzzs they used to and looking after a baby to boot.

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"I could cope with the daytime tasks easily after being well rested and fresh," Maria K told us. "But I haven't had a proper night's sleep for about 2 years..."

Sarah W says this: "No one - and I mean no one - can explain how sleep deprived you are going to be and how it affects you. "You wake up in the morning wondering what time you'll be able to climb back in to bed that night.

"I also feel as mothers we put up a good front and it looks like all other mums are coping and you're the one screaming on the inside but I bet if you asked those other mothers they also are screaming on the inside x."

2. Baby brain

Loads has been written on what this is and whether it even exists: if our mums are to be believed there's definitely something in it.

Lenne W told us: "My scatty brain hasn't left me 1f641.png :( and it's been 4 years since my first was born..."

3. The unknown

"The unknown when pregnant with your first child - I didn't have a clue about how to look after and care for a baby, fortunately it all came naturally," Amy M told us - and we totally get that.

4. 'Losing' yourself

Sure, you've gained an amazing little new member of the family - but you've also become a mum. For some, how you see yourself - or how others see you (or how you think they see you) changes.

"For me it's almost dealing with how I've changed as a person," explains Raegen B. "I love being a mum but found it an emotional roller coaster dealing with my differences since being a mum.

"I'm more paranoid, have less interest in hobbies, feel immense pressure to be the best and constantly worry about the future.

"I was never like that before so it's a learning curve for me having to deal with the new emotions being a parent brings to the table xx."

And along the same lines, Nicola P said this: "I don't feel like a person anymore - I just function for my kids and that's it, so long as they are healthy and happy, I'm happy. "I do crave time to myself too as I never get any, but then I feel guilty for saying that! Can't win."

5. The isolation

Once a new baby comes along, you can't just do your own thing like you used to - and this can be tough.

"Being on my own with one was fine the only thing I found hard was being ill and taking care of a child... now I'm a single mum of 2 I find it really hard to get out on time & various other things. I get lonely too," says Cassie P.

Samantha agrees that "the loneliness" is what she's found hardest too.

6. Post-natal depression

Not everyone gets this, but for those who do - it can put a real shadow over the birth of a new baby.

A number of you cited having PND, Vix Lester saying: "My symptoms weren't ones I recognised as PND - but I think there is such a stigma and certain light on the condition: it is extremely misunderstood xx."'

7. Potty training

Once your little one gets older, a number of issues come in to play that many of our mums found hard - potty training being one of them.

"Potty training...is by far the hardest thing I've come across so far with two children 5 and 3 (both full trained now thank god)," says Chelss F. "So many times I just wanted to give up and keep them in nappies for ever."

8. The tantrums

Whether they come with the terrible twos or sooner - a number of you said you found dealing with your little ones having a paddy to be difficult.

Dani W said: "It's the tantrums I struggle with, I am so jealous of people who can keep themselves calm...during one of her tantrums is the only time I cannot control my emotions.

"I find myself sitting with my legs crossed in a basket, squeezing her so hard to try and calm her down all while I'm bawling my eyes out myself. "But I think it's because I know myself how hard it is to express feelings you don't understand ?."

We get your pain, Dani.

9. Returning to work

For lots of reasons - going back to the 'rat race' after having a baby can be difficult. There are the practical issues to deal with - the daycare/work juggle as well as the emotions around saying goodbye to your little one for all or part of the working week.

"The hardest thing for me was leaving my daughter to go back to work part time when she was 12 months," says Claire W. "I felt so guilty and still hate leaving her now 18 months on x."

10. Changing relationships

All that comes with having a baby can really affect the relationship with those closest to you - something Carla C says she found difficult. "Managing my time between my daughter and hubby," was, for her, one of the toughest things to deal with.

What do you think?

What did you find hardest about being a new mum? Tell us in the comments below or over on Facebook

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10 of the hardest things about becoming a mum (2024)

FAQs

10 of the hardest things about becoming a mum? ›

Lack of sleep

It's really no surprise a number of you put this as one of the toughest bits of being a mum; no one feels good when they're getting half the zzzzs they used to and looking after a baby to boot.

What is the hardest thing about being a mom? ›

Lack of sleep

It's really no surprise a number of you put this as one of the toughest bits of being a mum; no one feels good when they're getting half the zzzzs they used to and looking after a baby to boot.

What is the most difficult thing for you as a mother? ›

Loss of personal time and personal space is a big deal for new moms – being alone all day with a hungry, needy infant can be exhausting, and it's OK to feel selfish from time to time!

What do moms struggle with the most? ›

Top 10 Challenges of the Modern Mom
  • Moms everywhere are lonely, exhausted, anxious, depressed, and being pushed to their limits. ...
  • Mom Guilt. ...
  • Sleep Deprivation. ...
  • Balancing Family and Work. ...
  • Always the Primary Caregiver. ...
  • That Darn Glass Ceiling. ...
  • Violence Against Women. ...
  • Self-worth and body image.
May 5, 2024

What is the hardest stage of motherhood? ›

Parenting young adolescents can be challenging partly because their stress tends to rub off on us. The adage, “A mom is only as happy as her least happy child,” carries a lot of truth. This stage can also be difficult because we may feel a new distance separating us from our young adolescents.

What stresses moms out the most? ›

Common Stressors Mothers Deal With

Stress for mothers stems from multiple and intersecting categories, including how little time they have for themselves, shouldering the logistical demands of a household, and often being the family point person for decisions, big and small.

What makes motherhood hard? ›

High energy. Finding the energy to keep up with the demands of raising children is no easy task. Moms are constantly on the go, caring for their little ones and making sure they have everything they need. It can be exhausting and it's easy to get overwhelmed. Taking care of yourself is an important part of being a mom.

What is the biggest challenge being a mother? ›

Motherhood: Overcoming the Top 5 Challenges Faced by New Moms
  • Anxiety or Depression during Pregnancy: ...
  • Loneliness and Poor Self-Worth: ...
  • Relationships Change: ...
  • Tiredness and Lack of Sleep: ...
  • Struggling with Breastfeeding: ...
  • Impact & How to Overcome them:

What is the hardest age to be a mom? ›

A recent study suggests age 8 is the hardest to parent. — with 6 and 7 not far behind.

What part of motherhood is difficult? ›

Parenting our older children is the hardest stage of being a mom.

What is your no 1 biggest problem you face as a single mom? ›

Lack of financial support.

Single mothers often feel guilty for not providing enough for their kids. Being a single mother is a huge responsibility and takes a lot of courage, remember to always remind yourself how good of a job you are doing.

What is new mom syndrome? ›

Most new moms experience postpartum "baby blues" after childbirth, which commonly include mood swings, crying spells, anxiety and difficulty sleeping. Baby blues usually begin within the first 2 to 3 days after delivery and may last for up to two weeks.

Why is being a first time mom so hard? ›

Being a parent to a new baby can be hard. The joy you get from coos and cuddles is mixed in with the hard work of infant care. It's normal to feel frustrated and exhausted. If your baby cries all the time or won't sleep, parenting is even harder.

What mothers worry about the most? ›

Mothers are more likely to worry about certain hazards to their kids
  • Struggling with anxiety or depression. 32% ...
  • Being bullied. ...
  • Being kidnapped or abducted. ...
  • Getting beaten up or attacked. ...
  • Having problems with drugs or alcohol. ...
  • Getting shot. ...
  • Getting pregnant/getting someone pregnant as a teen. ...
  • Getting in trouble with the police.
Jan 24, 2023

Does being a mom ever get easier? ›

According to survey results, after nearly five months postpartum, most new moms settle into their new routines and gain confidence in their parenting abilities: They learn what baby's different cries mean; they stop worrying about dealing with baby in public; they learn to be armed more snacks, spare clothes and ...

What is so hard about motherhood? ›

Finding the energy to keep up with the demands of raising children is no easy task. Moms are constantly on the go, caring for their little ones and making sure they have everything they need. It can be exhausting and it's easy to get overwhelmed. Taking care of yourself is an important part of being a mom.

What is mom's biggest fear? ›

1. Great expectations. The Fear: I'm afraid my child won't get the education and opportunities she needs to reach her potential. This was the top fear of the parents in our survey. This surprised us, given that we polled the parents of relatively young children.

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